How does one find the source of their personhood?

Here I am 15 days into my Metta year and I must say that it has been really interesting so far! I have found it extremely hard to conjure up feelings of lovingkindness towards myself, I hadn’t realized how much I have been conditioned to judge and criticize myself. It is not so easy to truly wish oneself happiness, kindness, and love; so I have taken matters into my own hands to hopefully get to the bottom of this difficulty. I must have been conditioned to a certain degree to feel this way, I mean, we are all conditioned to a large extend by our upbringing and the time in which we live. I have also been returning to my first loves that have been crucial in developing the person that is me; listening to a lot of ska music, and most importantly returning to my mentor, Albert Camus, reading his writings and reading about his philosophical life.

I have always connected to Camus at a very deep level; the first time that I read The Plague in high school for a class project, I felt that I had finally opened my eyes. I would love to have never read Camus to simply relive that moment; letting his words and ideas wash over me, not being able to put the book down, living moments of pure epiphany, Albert Camus has helped and guided me in life. I truly respect him for a simple reason, he lived his philosophy until the day that he died, he was true to his word and most importantly heart. Most people remember him because of the famous fight that he had with Sartre and the discovery of the Soviet work camps and later on about the war in his native Algeria. This debate made such a great man doubt his place in the St-Germain world, but he never doubted his heart and what he saw as being true. I could go on about this public falling apart that occurred, but I find that what is most important is to examine what made Camus such a strong voice against capital punishment, dictatorships, terrorism, and other forms of what he considered to be legal crimes.

Camus never go to know his father, Lucien Camus was killed during the First World War when Camus was only eight months old. He was left to be raised by his mother who was half deft and mainly moot (she was able to carry very basic conversations but nothing more), she also was a big influence on his life and his relationship to the working class of Algeria. The greatest legacy that his father left him was Camus’s eternal search for justice in the world around him. There are a couple of events that happened in his life that triggered this search, this was born out of stern reflection caused by intense surges of emotions based on certain links made by the young Camus in relation his past and father.

The first and maybe the most famous is the story that his mother once told him about his father Lucien witnessing the execution of a fellow countryman one morning in Alger before he was born. The first time that I heard this story was in his powerful essay Reflections on the Guillotine, Camus has always been a strong advocate against capital punishment and I think that it was born from this event. In 1914 a man was condemned for killing his landlord and his three children, the victims were mutilated, disfigured and killed with a hammer. It is said that the room in which the murder happened was covered in blood up to the ceiling. One of the children that hide under the bed wrote the murderer’s name with his blood on the wall just before dying. The murderer was then found in the next town and brought back to be judged and condemned to death, Lucien Camus found that the punishment matched the crime. Lucien thus went to witness the death by guillotine of this criminal, saw him get tied to a wooden plank and then placed under the blade to have his head cut off his body; it is said that the head hit the ground and about six liters of blood poured out of the body. This is what people called justice, blood and murder being answered by blood and murder. Lucien Camus would have come back home that day and never spoke of what he saw, he did however become physically ill because of what he saw. This story really marked Camus, his father’s reaction (who was a strong supporter of the death penalty) made him realize that what was done that day was not justice by revenge.

His second lesson from his father was thanks to his school teacher, Louis Germain, who would read sections of Croix de Bois in class. With this book Camus was able to discover life on the front, in the trenches, the world where his father lost his life. It might be coincidence, but the world of this book coincides with his world, this book allows Camus to discover and know the world of his father. It helps to explain to this young boy what happened to his father and why he ended up like he did. When Mr Germain read the last lines of the text he looked at the class to see the children in a stupor, they are all witnessing the world of their fathers, uncles and others; Camus discovers the world of his enigmas. Camus cries and the realizations that he experiences in relation to his father and his death; many years later Camus saw Mr Germain who gave him the book, Camus refuses the gift saying that it was not his book to which Mr Germain replied “You cried the day that I read this to you, do you remember? Since that day, this book has been yours”. With this book, Camus was able to see the injustice of war and the actual people who were involved in these events, the human face if you will. It is clear to see that for Camus, it was not an option to join the resistance during the war; it was the just thing to do.

His mother might not have haunted him like his father during his upbringing and search for his identity, but she did give him another perspective for his philosophy. She showed him the working class, who did not have a good enough vocabulary to describe their suffering and struggles, put honor and dignity over everything. Camus once said that a mother represents humanity, I think that this was always his relationship with his mother, he loved his mother most of all. She was half-deaf, unable to speak more than basic exchanges, she lived in silence, in the menacing shadows of her own mother (a violent woman who would frequently beat Camus when he was a child). His grandmother was illiterate, ignorant and pig-headed; would never admit her wrong. Camus would lie when he was younger, he would tell them that he was being tutored and instead would go to the beach and enjoy life, one day he was caught and beat fierce by his grandmother; his mother came up to him and whispered words of compassion into his ear, I find that this story represents their relationship. I also believe that it is because of moments like these that he stated that he would always choose his mother over justice.

As we can see, Camus was shaped by the life that he lived; his upbringing, his relationship to his father and mother and the country that he called home. I have realized that this Metta practice will let me go back to my sources and see what has made me who I am. This is the only way that one can truly love themself, to learn our struggles and fears and hold them in loving awareness. I continue on this path and hope that I find my inner child and am able to discuss with him! Like Camus said : “L’homme que je serais si je n’avais pas ete l’enfant que je fus!”.

Up the Punks!

What is happening in the Aceh region of Indonesia, the “re-education” of punks, most specifically the Aceh 64 who were taken from the city of  Tamn Budaya has not been sitting well with me. I have to admit that seeing as how I have been a punk from an early age, the best form that I was able to find to express the isolation and anger that I was feeling, and my hopes for a better world, this has really struck a chord with me.

The Police in the Province of Aceh, Indonesia have, under orders of a religious fundamentalist government, rounded up  punk rock fans and have shaved the punks heads, taken their dog collars, necklaces and chains and thrown them into pools of water for “spiritual cleansing.” The punks will  now ‘spend 10 days getting rehabilitation, training in military-style discipline and religious classes, including Quran recitation. Afterward, they’ll be sent home.’ We can easily imagine how this must feel to receive this type of treatment, also if you are a fan of punk or metal or any similar music subculture, it hits home in a slightly different way than the other human rights cases that we have sadly come accustomed to ignoring in the West. I can easily empathize with the complete frustration and humiliation these ‘punks’ must feel as I have had  a few brushes with bully ‘authorities’ who pretend they’re acting ‘in the name of the law’ but I have never, and hopefully never will, experience this type of human rights abuse by authorities of a state.

What is maybe the most interesting in all of this is the growing gulf between some particular official accounts of the detainment, and this is where I am starting to think that this might be an attack on the poor and that the street punks have simply become the face of this fight. Most authorities have all held the same line that punk is at odds with the teachings of Islam, they have claimed that these raids will continue to support their purpose of suppressing the growth of the punk communities and there are no plans for it to end anytime soon.

” Maybe, if there’s funding for us, we can continue their re-education on an extended basis until they’re better. After that we’ll hand them all over to the city government.”

The Police Chief’s justifications are religious in nature, and revolve around a notion of protecting the wider society in Aceh from the supposed threat of punk, and it’s adherents. Although, Armensyah draws distinctions between “clean” punks “that exist in different classes”, and the 64 young people his force swept off the street, detained without charge, confiscated their clothes and were forced to get haircuts. When the media asked why, if it is hygiene the main issue, the police would not also round-up the homeless in Aceh, the Chief said: “There are no homeless in Aceh, there are only punks.” The Governor however states that they were arrested for falsifying a permit for a gig, it is still unsure if all 64 detainees were arrested on this charge or just the one person who applied for the permit, and at other times he claims that the detainees were not arrested:

It is untrue that the police arrested them. That’s not it. The truth is that the police are helping them develop [their skills].

Human Rights Watch however have very different views to the officials mentioned above in reference to what has happened. M. Choirul Anam from Human Rights Watch said: “First, they violated freedom of expression. Punk is only a way to express oneself, just like a person wearing a necklace. The punk kids do not disturb public order, so the police do not have to catch them.” Anam has also gone to declare that the way that the detainees have been treated go against the United Nations Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman and Degrading Treatment or Punishment which Indonesia is bound to since signing it in 1985. The Aceh Police force has also not followed the due process of law. The punks were not given proper legal treatment, the police executed treatments without going through any legal channels. Human Rights Watch has also stated that there will be more human rights violations if they don’t proceeded this case legally.

To everybody:  If you believe in human dignity, autonomy, and the right for people to be able to make their own decisions- keep fighting for your rights and freedoms, as well as the rights and freedoms of others. There are many actions that have been happening in support for the Aceh 64, and there are many things that you can do to help.

- Change.org has made a petition to advocate for their release.

- The record label Aborted Society is collecting mix tapes and burned CD’s (no cases) to send to their fellow punks to help with morale. Maybe you can help out?

- Check out this 100% ruling documentary about the Indonesian punk ‘scene’

- German punks Red Tape Parade have appealed for their fans on Facebook to send them spare gear to be sent out to Aceh punks in the near future, with their initiative, Up The Aceh-Punx.    Here is a status from their Facebook page: ” I have direct contact to someone in Aceh, so now I’m asking all of you – no matter if you play in a band, write for a zine, own a label, or simply share our love for punk music and punk culture – to contribute stuff so we can send it over to Indonesia, to let our friends there know that they are not alone, and that “unity” is more than a catchphrase in a song. So, if you have CDs, zines, records, pins, shirts etc. you can give away please leave a comment and we’ll get in touch.” They are posting pictures of the donations on their Facebook page.

Let’s keep the spirit alive!

And we begin another year…

Another year is done; 2011 taught me a lot of things and I look forward to the lessons 2012 will hold, the new year is always a time of reflection for most people. It is a time for people to look back on the last year, to see what were the highlights and what could have been different. This is where I should be sharing with you my “resolution” for the upcoming year to help better myself, this is usually characterised with a statement based on eating better or exercising more, instead of having a specific action planned at “fixing” something that I don’t like about myself I have decided to be kinder in all aspects of my life. I have decided to go against our divided society where the body is relegated to the gym, work to the office, healing to the hospital, leisure being related to two weeks of vacation, and the sacred being linked to weekly visits to church or temple. I will follow Jack Kornfield and the message of his new book, the wholeness of awakening.

All aspects of my life will be the field of my practice, the place to find freedom and compassion, every part of my life is sacred. It is this life, my work, my family, my community which are the only place for awakening. In Zen it is called “no part left out”. All parts of our human experience must be included in an awakened life. The Buddha explained that awakening and freedom are found:

When sitting, standing, walking, and lying down;

through right speech, right action, right livelihood;

inwardly and outwardly,

with the whole body, feelings, mind, and relationships;

in solitude and community;

in prison, hut, farm, or palace;

in times of war or peace;

in sickness and in health.

Our lives provide the perfect conditions for awakening freedom and compassion. Enlightenment will not be found in some meditation hall hidden in the mountains, it is only found where you are. There is thus a way of moving wisely and graciously through the world, bestowing blessings and happiness to yourself and others, in hard times as well as good times. This freedom can be found once we learn to quiet the mind and open the heart. This is the purpose of meditation. Mindfulness does not reject experience, it lets it be the teacher. Mindfulness allows one enter the difficulties in their own lives, and find the healing and freedom that one is searching.

This year I will be doing Metta practice (for those of you unaware of this practice I will be presenting it in my next post) everyday for a complete year, I look forward to sharing with you the ride that will be this intense loving-kindness practice. I look forward to my experiences uncovering new truths about myself, I bow to my teacher that is life and look forward to interacting with it! Stay tuned and try to be kind to everyone that you encounter along your personal path, even if it may seem impossible at times…

2 600 years of kicking ass!

Bodhi Day is a Buddhist holiday commemorating the day that the Buddha achieved enlightenment, which is translated as Bodhi in Sanskrit or Pali.  Bodhi Day is always celebrated on the 8th day of the 12th lunar month, this is what is believed was the day that Siddhartha Gautama while sitting under the Bodhi tree became the Buddha. Sid, who was born in a very noble and privileged Hindu family, left his material comforts in the search for answers to the problem of suffering, specifically old age, sickness and death. He thus sought bodhi through meditation, self-mortification, and practicing other austerities.

After several years of intense practice, he realized that bodhi was to be found through meditation, but through a Middle Way, away from the extremes of self-mortification and self-indulgence. The story goes that he meditated in Bodh Gaya (I am sure that you have all heard of the famous Bodhi Tree that is supposed to have been grown from an original branch of the tree that rested atop of the Buddha, it is one of the main pilgrimage sites for Buddhists from all over the world) under a peepal tree (a species of Banyan fig), now famously known as the Bodhi tree, and resolved to continue meditating until he achieved bodhi (enlightenment). It is believed that after 49 days of continuous meditation, Gautama achieved bodhi (enlightenment) at the age of 35. Since then he was known as the Buddha (‘enlightened one’). In other words, he kicked Mara’s ass and was freed from the shackles of suffering.

In Buddhism, Māra is the demon that tempted Siddhartha Gautama by trying to seduce him with the vision of beautiful women who, in various legends, are often said to be Mara’s daughters. In Buddhist cosmology, Mara personifies unwholesome impulses, unskilfulness, the “death” of the spiritual life. He is a tempter, distracting humans from practicing the spiritual life by making the mundane alluring or the negative seem positive. We have all wrestled with Mara at one point in our lives, I know that I do it on a daily basis, I just keep working on not giving Mara too much power in my life and how I act within the world. I am sure that everyone that has attempted to sit and meditate has tasted the allure of what Mara has thrown at them, the important part and what I try to do every time is simply to say “I see you Mara” and keep on keeping on.

People usually celebrate and commemorate this day with meditation, studying the Dharma, chanting sutras (Buddhist texts) or by doing kind acts towards others. I find that all these activities are all great ways to commemorate this moment, I also find that it is a great time to reflect on what has brought us to this practice and what keeps us going on this path… So why not take some time today to sit and meditate on our practice and how we are progressing on the path. I know that I like to check in on my practice at least once a year and I can’t think of a better time than now. So take a moment to reflect and renew your effort towards your practice and the path that you have chosen, if you do not practice meditation or the dharma, there isn’t a better time than now to start!

We are the 100%

The Occupy Wall Street movement has been spreading like wildfire for a little over a month now, people are hearing about the 99% rising up and demanding that the widening gap that is growing between the haves and the have-nots becomes smaller. The Occupy movement describes itself as:

Occupy Wall Street is leaderless resistance movement with people of many colors, genders and political persuasions. The one thing we all have in common is that We Are The 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%. We are using the revolutionary Arab Spring tactic to achieve our ends and encourage the use of nonviolence to maximize the safety of all participants.

This #ows movement empowers real people to create real change from the bottom up. We want to see a general assembly in every backyard, on every street corner because we don’t need Wall Street and we don’t need politicians to build a better society.

It has become the 1% and the 99%, these numbers have been burned into most news coverage of this new movement and rightfully so, but I have always believed that I was part of a different statistic. Noah Levine in his book The Heart of the Revolution describes a definition of another 1%, people who follow the teachings of the Buddha and the Dharma are ones that go against the stream and are a part of a very select group of people. I find it interesting that he used this kind of language and imagery before this movement arose, and in many ways I find it very fitting to be using it at this point in time in history. So my question is, what is a Buddhist to do with a movement like this one? I believe in this cause and find that it is really great to see its success since its inception in September, I am also happy that it has been mostly peaceful as movement, so what can a socially engaged Buddhist like myself bring to this movement? I actually found a great article at the Buddhist Peacemakers Institute website about occupying the present moment.

1. Interconnection.  We are moved by the interconnectedness expressed in this movement.  Occupy Wall Street is not about one environmental situation or one war, but rather about all of the systems which create suffering for all beings, and which are all related to each other.  Our spiritual practice is not just for our individual enlightenment, but to end suffering for all beings, so we are moved to address this system.
2. Ending suffering means changing the conditions of inequality. The influence of money, corporations, and banks in our U.S. political system blocks all of the human and environmental goals that BPF works towards.  Numerous Buddhist texts point out that if an individual lives in poverty it is not due to karma as a form of personal punishment, but rather that poverty exists within a web of collective causes and conditions. The Buddha also noted that the way to build a peaceful society is to ensure equitable distribution of resources.  Many U.S. Buddhists believe in the importance of cultivating a limitless heart that embraces the goal of a society in which everyone has their basic needs met, plus education, a living wage, and the opportunity to care for their families and to develop spiritually.
3. The means are the ends.  We are moved by and in agreement with the nonviolent tactics of the movement.  We believe in the power of compassionate presence, of bearing witness, and of nonviolent strategies toward spiritual awakening and liberation. The people on the streets in New York, and around the country and world, are in the process of being the change they wish to see, to use Gandhi’s phrase.

4. We participate in solidarity with the 100%—with all beings.  While we want to change the situation of disparity in world, we don’t want to exile the 1% from our hearts.  Furthermore, we are aware that lumping people together, whether into the 99% or the 100%, can invisibilize people’s experiences, especially those of people of color, and the many others who bear the heaviest burdens of inequality in the U.S. and in the world.  While we are all interconnected, we are not all the same.  With this recognition of diversity, we stand in solidarity with the 100%.

This is what I find sticks with me the most out of this statement, standing in solidarity with the 100% and not exiling anyone. I mean, in a way, this is why the 99% are so upset right now, they feel pushed aside and ignored, so it is not much better if we push the 1% to the side and ignore them. It is not the people who are the problem but the system that exists in the world, this is what we must change. We are all interconnected and we must work together (everyone) if we want to change things for the best. We want to end the suffering of every being, not just a select group. Let’s continue speaking out against injustice, but lets not forget to bring compassion and wisdom to the movement. Organise a meditation flashmob at one of the occupy protests in your town and show people that this revolution will remain peaceful and compassionate, let’s not forget that this revolution must also happen within us! Be the change that you want to see in the world!

The Compassionate Action Network

In 2008 Karen Armstrong won the 100 000$ TED prize and made a wish for help creating, launching and propagating a Charter for Compassion. After the Charter was unveiled to the world in November 2009, the Compassionate Action Network (“CAN”) launched an effort to create the first “Compassionate City” in Seattle. On April 24, 2010, the mayor and city council affirmed the Charter for Compassion and proclaimed the city’s support for a 10-year Compassionate City Campaign, making Seattle the first city in the world to become a Compassionate City.  Seattle was the first, but CAN (Compassionate Action Network) started the International Campaign for Compassionate Cities when an international wave of interest started for the creation of compassionate cities.

With the unveiling of the International Institute for Compassionate Cities in late 2010, CAN is developing an ability to enable rapid development of compassion-based programs within institutions and political entities (cities, nations, etc.) while supporting a growing culture of compassion that fosters positive, effective, and caring shifts in policy, practices, financing, education, employment, health, and community support. Hopefully you are reading this and seeing a need for such a campaign in your city, but it may seem a little big for a project and exactly what are we to do? It is simple:

Becoming a Compassionate City, Region, or Nation

The Charter for Compassion is a cornerstone of the International Campaign for Compassionate Cities. The Campaign is an initiative of the Compassionate Action Network (CAN) and supported by Institute, which is a part of CAN. The Campaign is an effort to bring a culture of compassion to cities, regions, and nations world-wide.

There are four types of campaigns for cities (as well as counties, states and provinces, regions, and nations):

1. Candidates
2. Affirming Cities
3. Compassionate Cities
4. Model Compassionate Cities

These are described in more detail, including requirements for each, on the Campaign page of the website.

Getting started?

Getting started is as easy as completing these five simple steps:

1. Personally affirm the Charter for Compassion. Ask everyone you know to do the same.
2. Join the Compassionate Action Network. It’s easy and its free.
3. Start a group for your campaign. Just go to the Groups page and click on “+ Add” at the top right of the page.
4. Join the International Institute for Compassionate Cities group on the network.
5. For more information and support for your campaign, submit a Participation Inquiry using the convenient and easy to use electronic form on this website.
6. Visit the Institute Resource Center. Download and read the Developing a Compassionate City Campaign (PDF, 190 kb).
7. Contact us if you have questions, ideas, etc. We’re here to serve your campaign.

Already started?

If you’ve already started your campaign and would like to get support from the International Institute for Compassionate Cities, follow these five simple steps:

1. Personally affirm the Charter for Compassion. Ask everyone you know to do the same.
2. Join the Compassionate Action Network. It’s easy and its free.
3. If you haven’t done so already, start a group for your campaign. Just go to the Groups page and click on “+ Add” at the top right of the page.
4. Join the International Institute for Compassionate Cities group on the network.
5. For more information and support for your campaign, submit a Participation Inquiry using the convenient and easy to use electronic form on this website.
6. If you’re looking for ideas for your campaign, visit the Institute Resource Center. You can download and read the Developing a Compassionate City Campaign (PDF, 190 kb).
7. Contact us if you have questions, ideas, etc. We’re here to serve your campaign.

What does it cost?

There are no fees, dues, or other charges for becoming part of the International Campaign for Compassionate Cities. The International Institute for Compassionate Cities exercises no control over your campaign; rather we serve solely as a resource to assist you in moving your campaign forward.

So if this sounds good to you, get up and get it going! I am planning on starting a reading group based on Karen Armstrong’s book, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, and then take it to the streets! There are already many cities that have taken the pledge, so why wouldn’t your community also join this campaign. Here are some testimonies of the positive effects that are already being felt around the world:

In a court room near a confirmed Compassionate City, a particularly scathing clash between two attorneys escalated. The judge stopped the trial. She pointed out that there was a Compassionate City nearby and, since the people there were aspiring to compassion, so will those in her courtroom. The trial continued with respect, understanding, and — most of all — compassion. The juror reporting this was astounded.

In August, I spoke with a school principal of an alternative high school in Colorado. She told me her students had asked that the school constitution be replaced with the Charter for Compassion. They decided that they should make compassion a central focus of their lives. It was obvious that she was deeply touched and proud of these young people.

People have also made personal pledges to bring to their everyday lives. Here are just a few examples of the different commitments that people are undertaking:

- I will commit to one compassionate action every day.

- I will commit to using compassionate language.

- I will commit to teach my children how to love, care for, understand, and provide compassion for others.

- I will have more compassion for myself.

- I will commit to seeing myself in my enemy.

- I will learn how compassion is applied in my faith, moral, and spiritual tradition.

- I will commit to learning more about my world.

Hunger for compassion and compassionate action can not be denied, the Institute has never recruited a city, county, country, school, business, or other group. They search for and find them. Let’s start making a better world today! I know that this is something that I will be doing!

All we really want is to be heard…

Tonight I got a call from my parents, these calls have become so mechanical and sterile that it seems to be affecting me more and more as times goes. Always conversations about what other people are doing, what new “stuff” they got, and of course talks about my finances and roles that I “should” be fulfilling in society. I have fought for many years for them to “get” me, to make them understand that I might not fall in the normal boxes that society has laid out for us. I seriously think that my parents don’t know the “real” me and that they don’t want to, there always seems to be awkwardness and closure when I try to actually talk about the things that “matter”.  I feel that I am a disappointment to them to some degree, yes, I have a job and education (not what they probably wished it was) and am still an upstanding member of society, whatever that means. I don’t however live in the nice house in the suburbs with the pool and the 2.3 kids whom I drive around to soccer practice etc. I live my life in fear of being judged by them (and if I actually made them see everything that lives in my heart I would be rejected) and set up against an ideal which I will never be. I don’t care for these material needs and find that there is much more important work to be made out there, I want a life of service filled with compassionate action. One thing that my meditation practice has done is definitely wake me up and gave me the drive and passion to try to live everyday with the most compassion and kindness that I can, that is what I find should define my upstanding member of society status.

I truly feel that they don’t know me at all, and that saddens me, and what saddens me even more is when I have tried to open up to them I just get an awkward “huh huh” and the conversation being changed or ended. One good example that I can think of is what I have asked for christmas and my birthday for the past 5 years. I have asked them to make a charitable donation in my name, an altruistic act by most people’s standards, and to no avail have never gotten it. I feel alone and misunderstood during these moments, like they are not listening to me and not making an effort to understand what is important and has meaning to me.

This makes me think of something that Vinny said in the first episode of the MTV show, If You Really Knew Me, that all he wanted his whole life was to be heard. This gets me thinking, isn’t that what we all really want in life? I think of the inmates that I saw in the penitentiaries during my volunteering, I always thought that most of these people would probably not be where they are today if they had just been heard in the past. This is a basic and natural human craving, and one that, if fulfilled, can have such a positive impact in the life of anyone. I find that it is completely absurd that we live in such a “civilized” world and that we still are not able to sit down and listen to each other, to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and “drop the waterline” if you will.

Albert Camus spoke of alienation, his theory of the absurd was born from the unreasonable silence from the world. We are left alone in a world that is meaningless and silent, so how are we to live life that has no meaning. The absurd is a central idea that I have personally wrestled with, and Camus’ understanding of the absurd is what has made the most sense. For Camus, happiness is fleeting and that the human condition is one of mortality. This was not to be morbid, but to help us have a greater appreciation of life and happiness. In his text, The Myth of Sisyphus, this dualism becomes a paradox: We value our lives and existence so greatly, but at the same time we know we will eventually die, and ultimately our endeavours are meaningless. While we can live with a dualism (I can accept periods of unhappiness, because I know I will also experience happiness to come), we cannot live with the paradox (I think my life is of great importance, but I also think it is meaningless). Camus suggests that ‘creation of meaning’, would entail a logical leap or a kind of philosophical suicide in order to find psychological comfort. But Camus wants to know if he can live with what logic and lucidity has uncovered – if one can build a foundation on what one knows and nothing more. Creation of meaning is not a viable alternative but a logical leap and an evasion of the problem. He gives examples of how others would seem to make this kind of leap. The alternative option, namely suicide, would entail another kind of leap, where one attempts to kill absurdity by destroying one of its terms (the human being). Camus points out, however, that there is no more meaning in death than there is in life, and that it simply evades the problem yet again. Camus concludes, that we must instead ‘entertain’ both death and the absurd, while never agreeing to their terms.

Camus made a significant contribution to a viewpoint of the absurd, and always rejected nihilism as a valid response.

“If nothing had any meaning, you would be right. But there is something that still has a meaning.” Second Letter to a German Friend, December 1943.

Camus’ understanding of the Absurd promotes public debate; his various offerings entice us to think about the absurd and offer our own contribution. Concepts such as cooperation, joint effort and solidarity are of key importance to Camus, though they are most likely sources of ‘relative’ versus ‘absolute’ meaning. Something that I think we could bridge the Absurd with Buddhism and meditation practice is this notion of relative meaning, we all know that everything is impermanent and is always changing, thus absolute meaning is impossible in our daily lives. I know that some of the teachings of the Buddha are true, but our relationship and understanding of them changes with time as our practice progresses. I have bared witness to this already in my practice and know that it is just the beginning. I guess I could use Camus in what I am living right now, the absurd (and the absurdity of my relationship with my parents) is something that I must co-exist with it and necessarily agree to its terms. One day maybe, I will be able to have an honest conversation with them, and actually be heard.

 

“So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.” – Jack Layton

I am sure that if you are Canadian you heard the news of the passing of one of Canada’s great political leaders. Jack Layton lost his fight with cancer at the age of 61 this morning with family and friends at his home in Toronto. Jack Layton was a democrat in a conservative era who fought his opponents with the politics of relentless optimism and sunny hopefulness. This is why he was known as “Similing Jack” in the media, it was this attitude and game plan that would always get under his opponents skin. He was a highly intelligent political theorist, a doctor of political science and former professor at Toronto’s Ryerson University. He was also the man that lead his party to be elected the official opposition for the first time in the NDP’s history, with 103 seats (the highest before being 43 seats), the NDP became the official opposition in the House of Commons this spring, something that I honestly never thought I would see in my lifetime.

His message was different than other politicians, he refused to use attack ads filled with anger, he offered an alternative political agenda that did not include the mantra of tax-cutting and balanced budgets (the base of Conservative campaigns), instead he talked about better pensions, education, health care and the wrongs of economic inequality. At the same time, he avoided a culture war with the Conservatives. He repeatedly told his party’s inner circle that he didn’t think the Tories were evil, just misguided. Jack has brought three gifts into politics: an overwhelming energy, an ability to think of imaginative solutions and a skill – which became much clearer when he got to Ottawa – at helping people find common ground. There are many other things that he left as a legacy, but I think that the most important is that he transcended party lines, he was the symbol of optimism and hope. Here is the letter that he wrote to the Canadian people before his passing, I think that this letter might be his greatest legacy.

Dear Friends,
Tens of thousands of Canadians have written to me in recent weeks to wish me well. I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughtful, inspiring and often beautiful notes, cards and gifts. Your spirit and love have lit up my home, my spirit, and my determination.
Unfortunately my treatment has not worked out as I hoped. So I am giving this letter to my partner Olivia to share with you in the circumstance in which I cannot continue.
I recommend that Hull-Aylmer MP Nycole Turmel continue her work as our interim leader until a permanent successor is elected.
I recommend the party hold a leadership vote as early as possible in the New Year, on approximately the same timelines as in 2003, so that our new leader has ample time to reconsolidate our team, renew our party and our program, and move forward towards the next election.
A few additional thoughts:
To other Canadians who are on journeys to defeat cancer and to live their lives, I say this: please don’t be discouraged that my own journey hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped. You must not lose your own hope. Treatments and therapies have never been better in the face of this disease. You have every reason to be optimistic, determined, and focused on the future. My only other advice is to cherish every moment with those you love at every stage of your journey, as I have done this summer.
To the members of my party: we’ve done remarkable things together in the past eight years. It has been a privilege to lead the New Democratic Party and I am most grateful for your confidence, your support, and the endless hours of volunteer commitment you have devoted to our cause. There will be those who will try to persuade you to give up our cause. But that cause is much bigger than any one leader. Answer them by recommitting with energy and determination to our work. Remember our proud history of social justice, universal health care, public pensions and making sure no one is left behind. Let’s continue to move forward. Let’s demonstrate in everything we do in the four years before us that we are ready to serve our beloved Canada as its next government.
To the members of our parliamentary caucus: I have been privileged to work with each and every one of you. Our caucus meetings were always the highlight of my week. It has been my role to ask a great deal from you. And now I am going to do so again. Canadians will be closely watching you in the months to come. Colleagues, I know you will make the tens of thousands of members of our party proud of you by demonstrating the same seamless teamwork and solidarity that has earned us the confidence of millions of Canadians in the recent election.
To my fellow Quebecers: On May 2nd, you made an historic decision. You decided that the way to replace Canada’s Conservative federal government with something better was by working together in partnership with progressive-minded Canadians across the country. You made the right decision then; it is still the right decision today; and it will be the right decision right through to the next election, when we will succeed, together. You have elected a superb team of New Democrats to Parliament. They are going to be doing remarkable things in the years to come to make this country better for us all.
To young Canadians: All my life I have worked to make things better. Hope and optimism have defined my political career, and I continue to be hopeful and optimistic about Canada. Young people have been a great source of inspiration for me. I have met and talked with so many of you about your dreams, your frustrations, and your ideas for change. More and more, you are engaging in politics because you want to change things for the better. Many of you have placed your trust in our party. As my time in political life draws to a close I want to share with you my belief in your power to change this country and this world. There are great challenges before you, from the overwhelming nature of climate change to the unfairness of an economy that excludes so many from our collective wealth, and the changes necessary to build a more inclusive and generous Canada. I believe in you. Your energy, your vision, your passion for justice are exactly what this country needs today. You need to be at the heart of our economy, our political life, and our plans for the present and the future.
And finally, to all Canadians: Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. We can be a better one – a country of greater equality, justice, and opportunity. We can build a prosperous economy and a society that shares its benefits more fairly. We can look after our seniors. We can offer better futures for our children. We can do our part to save the world’s environment. We can restore our good name in the world. We can do all of these things because we finally have a party system at the national level where there are real choices; where your vote matters; where working for change can actually bring about change. In the months and years to come, New Democrats will put a compelling new alternative to you. My colleagues in our party are an impressive, committed team. Give them a careful hearing; consider the alternatives; and consider that we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together. Don’t let them tell you it can’t be done.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
All my very best,
Jack Layton

I know that I will miss having Jack in the Canadian political landscape, and I think that we all owe it to Jack to continue his agenda. One of hope, optimism, and love; I think that it is a Canada that we can all be proud of! RIP Jack, we’ll make sure to take it from here…

London’s Burning

I know that I am a little late writing about the rioting that has been happening in London the past few days following the death of a young black man in one of the poorest neighbourhoods. I find that there is a lot that needs to be examined if we are to truly understand why this happened and what was the real cause, we can also ask ourselves if rioting is really a political act. I find that since the rioting has started and continued, maybe we have lost sight of many factors. I find that the media has spun this into a story of looting and the meaninglessness of these actions, which I can see, but do not find, is entirely true. I also believe that this is a sign of things to come, more and more the poor and disenfranchised will rise up against an unjust and totalitarian regime that is oppressing them. If there are no real changes in these systems that protect the interests of the rich and marginalize the poor, we will live more and more events like this. Let’s start at the beginning of these riots and try to make sense of all of this.

Since the coalition has come to power there has been dozens of protests happening in London; multiple student protests, occupations of dozens of universities, several strikes, a half-a-million-strong trade union march and now unrest on the streets of the capital. Each of these events was sparked by a different cause, yet all take place against a backdrop of brutal cuts and enforced austerity measures. The policies of the past year may have clarified the division between the entitled and the dispossessed in extreme terms, but the context for social unrest cuts much deeper. The fatal shooting of Mark Duggan last Thursday, where it appears, contrary to initial accounts, that only police bullets were fired, is another tragic event in a longer history of the Metropolitan police’s treatment of ordinary Londoners, especially those from black and minority ethnic backgrounds, and the singling out of specific areas and individuals for monitoring, stop and search and daily harassment. A black or Asian youth is 7 times more likely to be searched by police in the London area, the stop and search has created great discontent among minorities, and rightfully so.

Combine understandable suspicion of and resentment towards the police based on experience and memory with high poverty and large unemployment and the reasons why people are taking to the streets become clear. Those condemning the events of the past couple of nights in north London and elsewhere would do well to take a step back and consider the bigger picture: a country in which the richest 10% are now 100 times better off than the poorest, where consumerism predicated on personal debt has been pushed for years as the solution to a faltering economy, and where, according to the OECD, social mobility is worse than any other developed country. Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett stated that in countries where there is less of a gap between the rich and the poor, a country that is not so unequal, there is less crime, ill-health, imprisonment rates, and mental illness. We can maybe agree to a certain degree that the system in England is broken (just like the US and Canada of course, I am not saying that we are better off) and we have to unsure that real change happens if we are to solve these problems, of course, capitalism is a great part of the problem also.

But, can rioting be revolutionary? I saw in an Adbusters article a good point on the debate that occurred between Michel Foucault and French Maoists in 1971 about the difference between the Maoists wish for a “people’s court” to judge the police in contrast to Foucault’s position of unconstrained brutal “popular justice”. Foucault, the history buff that he is, brings the example of the French Revolution and the September Massacres of 1792 where a thousand people were murdered by revolutionaries. For Foucault, this is what “popular justice” looks like and even the “moral ideology” that finds these illegal outbursts repellant “must be submitted to the scrutiny of the most rigorous criticism”. The Maoists believe that the people’s outrage and fury should be channeled into appropriate party structures. This debate does show how we imagine revolutionary change to take place. Will the revolution be an uncontrollable insurrection, like the examples of looting in London, or will we fear the mob and work on the side of power and the status quo?

So when does a riot become a revolution? Do the youth have to wear Black Block wear and shout Anarchists slogans? Must they be well-read, to be able to explain their ideas on the same level as Alain Badiou, Giorgi Agamben, and Antonio Negri? Is this the only way for people to recognize the flashmobs as the highest form of networked insurrection? Micah White believes that when the revolution comes, the ones that have been waiting too long will be the ones that miss it. They are too accustomed to looking in the wrong direction, waiting for the wrong words, the wrong actors, or the wrong kinds of political deeds. This is a revolutionary moment, it may happen in ways that the left may not like. There is a strong possibility of violence, even though we want nonviolence, and there will most definitely be pillaging, although we prefer a peaceful transfer of wealth. We are quick to condemn the looting and riots, are we to set up an approved structure of dissent? Why are we denying riots as a political act? Foucault stated “It is from the point of view of property that there are thieves and stealing”, we view looting as theft and don’t even consider it to be a political act. This is an outburst of “popular justice” against a corrupt and corrupting capitalist system, instead we listen to the views of the system that we are trying to overthrow.

The London riots are not as picturesque as maybe how we imagined the revolution to be, but the left as always said: “Revolution is not a dinner party, nor an essay, nor a painting, nor a piece of embroidery; it cannot be advanced softly, gradually, carefully, considerately, respectfully, politely, plainly, we like it or not, what an insurrection might look like if the forces of capitalism do not peacefully, voluntarily relinquish their stranglehold.”

I find that we must take some time to really look at what is happening, this is not a black and white issue. Also, a last thought to why maybe the looting could make sense, this is just a quick remark and don’t claim to be on official source on this. Wouldn’t it make sense that the poor and marginalized, who have lived a life of never being able to afford the stuff they are told to buy by the capitalist system, would take this as a good opportunity to finally accumulate the goods they have been denied for so long… I also do not think that cutting access to Twitter and Blackberry messenger will do much good (the people will still organize), if anything, it will demonstrate how our governments try to control all aspects of our lives. Let’s also not forget the West’s condemnation of Egypt and others when they blocked social medias to the masses that were taking to the streets. Also, this is not an isolated event, also when the people are clearly out-numbering the police, we know that this will not just go away.  I find that this is what happens when youth are bored and filled with inexplicable anger towards a system that oppresses and denies any opportunities in life (most of these people will never be able to buy a home, to find a secure form of income, etc.), riots are an option for change when someone has nothing to lose…

 

Drop the waterline, show your humanity…

I started watching the MTV reality show called, If you really knew me…, about Challenge Day and the impact that they have in schools all around the US. If you are not familiar with the work that is done you should really take some time to check out Challenge Day, it is a great answer to helping solve what is happening in schools all over with bullying, racism, etc. During the day, students are put into small groups and they each take turns letting people know the real them, we hide so much of ourselves to others which in turns creates real separation between people. They say that we are like icebergs, we only show 10% of ourselves to the world, so the exercise is to drop the waterline (get out of that comfort zone) and expose 100% of ourselves and be “real”.  What happens is that once everyone has started sharing how they really feel and what they are going through, we realize that we all have our struggles and insecurities, and that all we want is to be accepted for who we are and free to show ourselves and not hide behind masks.

Buddhism does also talk about the other and how we relate to them, especially when discussing the Bodhisattva vow and its mission of releasing all beings of suffering before leaving this earth. Awakening compassion is something that I have struggles with, especially towards myself. I am sure that we all have struggled with the inner critic inside of us, distancing myself from emotional pain – my vulnerability, anger, jealousy, fear – by letting it be covered over with self-judgment. So by pushing away parts of myself, I was digging myself deeper into the trance of unworthiness. I was not able to accept my experience because my heart was hardened by fear and blame. As long as I can remember I have been relentlessly badgering myself, ignoring the hurt in my heart. I think that it had all started with my relationship with my parents that were always quick to judge and criticize me when I was dropping my waterline, I thus developed an incapacity to acknowledge the real suffering that I was living with these harsh words and instead judging myself for being so stupid to show my real self to the world. I would never be accepted and loved if I didn’t create an image of myself that had his shit together all the time, and maintained an image that was respectable with the others around me.

This all came back up when I was watching these kids pour their hearts out, I saw myself and I remembered how hard it was to hold myself with compassion the first time that this surfaced in my meditation practice. I remember doing the body scan to see where in my body I could feel these feelings of unworthiness and judgment, feeling in my chest like my heart was bound with tight chords, realizing how painful this pain really was even though I had become used to feeling it all the time. Realizing how sad I felt to have always been carrying this pain with me, and for so long, ever since I could remember in my childhood. I had read that I should put my hand on my heart, the area where I felt the pain, and to say to myself  “I care about this suffering”. For the first time I could remember I was acknowledging the pain that I felt and realizing that it was Ok for me to care and tend to it. With time and practice, I must admit that the pain slowly softened, it never went away, but I must admit that I have a much more compassionate response to it. This care that I had always offered to others was for the first time in my life being directed towards myself, I could comfort myself with words of kindness and understanding. So now when I start feeling judgments about myself and the physical pain that comes with it, I am able to put my hand on my chest and offer words of kindness by saying that I care about my suffering and the pain and anger subsides and it is replaced by a warm feeling spreading throughout my whole body. My edge has softened with time and I am much less angry than I was.

May this suffering awaken compassion, these are the words of the Bodhisattva, a beautiful promise that is given by people who will dedicate their lives to awaken the compassion of all beings so they may be free of suffering. Challenge Day and its amazing staff are doing the work of the Bodhisattvas, they are showing that we are all suffering and we all want to be heard, loved, and accepted. We all live the same fears, insecurities, and we all have the same desires of being free from suffering. I find that they are showing that we are all in this together, so why do we judge and bring more suffering to people? We should be accepting and loving towards all people, no matter if they are different, because in the end we are all the same. I find that we get so caught up in our own stories sometimes that we forget and make the other to simply be an enemy or an object and forget the humanity that lives inside them. All beings experience love, fear, suffering and we should welcome them with love and openess in our lives. I find that the other is an illusion that we create to help justify our selfishness and to validate our suffering, that it is something that is out of our control. But if we take the time to open to our experiences and meeting them with kindness we can see ourselves in all beings. It reminds me of a story that I read once:

An aged spiritual master calls his two most devoted disciples to the garden in front of his hut. Gravely, he gives each one a chicken and instructs them, “Go to where no one can see, and kill the chicken.” One of the men immediately goes behind his shed, picks up an ax and chops off his chicken’s head. The other wanders around for hours, and finally returns to his master, the chicken still alive and in hand. “Well, what happened?” the teacher asks. The disciple responds, “I can’t find a place to kill the chicken where no one can see me. Everywhere I go, the chicken sees.”

Bring this wisdom into your life and I can assure that you will live a much kinder and compassionate life. I try to bring this attention and compassion to everything that I do, and I find that a Challenge day also lets a school see that we are not alone in our suffering and we should be helping each other out instead of creating boundaries and fear. So tomorrow when you are at school or work, say hello to someone that you normally would not talk to and let them know that you are there and you are listening!